Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
