But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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