Got a toothbrush?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
