my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
