would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What drink are we having for lunch?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
