I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
