My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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