STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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