; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm too high and old for this...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
