Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
