if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
FUCK WHALES
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