yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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