the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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