I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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