Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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