So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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