brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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