I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
