Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
