making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
