32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
