my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
