weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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