I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Jerry, you need to find god
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
