I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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