If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
