Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
