I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
