..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
