Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
