grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
