you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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