It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
