he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
