sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
