All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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