So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
