just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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