I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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