Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
