does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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