It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
