you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
