we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
