you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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