Soap is not a condiment
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
