Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
