Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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