I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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