The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
PANTIES FOUND
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
